


Failure To Communicate

by Im_The_Doctor (Bofur1)



Category: Video Blogging RPF, Youtube RPF
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Crack and Angst, Death Threats, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Language Barrier, Miscommunication, Mocking, Multilingual Character, Multiple Selves, Short One Shot, Teasing, This will be funny or sad depending on who you're rooting for, google translate
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-24
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2019-01-22 09:16:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 607
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12478284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bofur1/pseuds/Im_The_Doctor
Summary: Google Translate is known to have a lot of bugs, which means a lot of mistranslations...alot. Bing and Wilford decide to amuse themselves with it at Googleplier's expense.





	Failure To Communicate

“I will _destroy you_.” Google’s eyes were burning with pure hatred and his tone held something far, far more dangerous than mere venom. “I’m going to find you as soon as you power down, Bing, and come morning, you’re going to be nothing but a—”

“Translate that to—to—to _Belarusian!_ ” Wilford exclaimed, stuttering over his peals of laughter. Google went rigid at the command, promptly spouting the foreign language against his will, already knowing what would come next.

“Care to tell us what you said in English, Google?” Bing urged gleefully, flicking his sunglasses higher up the bridge of his nose.

“No, no, wait, put it through German next! Then Azerbaijani! Then Lithuanian!” Wilford burst out, leaning forward and tapping his knees expectantly, beaming and nodding as if he could understand Google perfectly as he filtered the languages through. Behind his eyes, Google could already see syntax scrambling, the turn of phrase twisting into knots—his _beautifully_ crafted threat crumbling into a broken mess.

Bing was catching onto Wilford’s enthusiasm. “How about, uhh…Macedonian? Romanian? Turkish?”

“And just because Mark is visiting some of his best buds today, leaving us to spend all the time in the _world_ with you…” Wilford concluded with a toothy grin, “let’s add Korean, Swedish, and Irish!”

“Well?” Bing prompted eagerly as Google fell silent, clenching his fists in cold, preemptive fury. “Spit it out, dude!”

“ _Stop the ice can not find tomorrow, I'm not going to break you, when you mess up the case_ ,” Google growled, grinding his jaw as he watched the pair of them howl with laughter.

“Stick it through Chinese and Dutch next!”

“ _Do not stop the ice cream tomorrow, I will not break you if you lose things_.”

“Ohh, you like ice cream, do ya?!” Wilford cackled, nearly falling backward over the couch cushions where he had perched himself.

“I am going to pour your stash of gunpowder on you while you sleep and _set you alight_ ,” Google vowed viciously. While he had the satisfaction of a threat he could finish, it was a fleeting moment.

“Stick that through all of them again!”

“ _Add a low button,_ _I give you dust and send me dust._ ”

“What a gentledude!” Bing snickered. “You wanna try that with Swahili, Burmese, and Italian?”

“I hate—You’re going to pay _dearly_ for—” Google began in a rush before his programming kicked in again. He had no idea how unfinished sentences were going to affect him, but he had a feeling it wouldn’t be pretty.

“What was that? Voice give out on ya, y’old fart?” Bing taunted, leaning forward. “Try again!”

“ _It is located between the pond and in the pool. I hate parachute expensive to pay a great deal_.”

That certainly set off another round of laughter, during which Google seethed as he never had before, though it wasn’t anywhere close to the dread he felt when Wilford sat up, smiling impossibly wider.

“He-e-e-ey…I know exactly what you should translate!” Chuckling darkly, he planted his elbows on his knees, clearly enunciating some very familiar words. “Try ‘Secondary objective is to destroy mankind’. It’ll be a _doozy!_ Go on…”

“ _Near the lakeshore vault_ _—cover no differences—_ ” Google snarled, fighting every word. _“as a cap—extra departments—in the nice extra nice._ ”

Wilford did fall off the couch at that one, hugging himself and outright screaming in terrible glee. Bing was doubled over, glasses falling off his face, and Google watched in humiliated silence, already planning the grisly ways he was going to make them suffer.

“And that—” Wilford gasped from where he lay on the floor, “—is why we _love_ ya!”

**Author's Note:**

> Long story short: This came out of watching Google Translate Sings videos for far too long XD


End file.
